Before the letters begin, let me share a story of how losing someone at a very young age forever changed my life.
It started off as a normal day, like any other.
I was 12 years old and in middle school. I didn’t particularly love middle school, but back in my day, we didn’t go to “middle school” until 7th grade. I also lived in an area where I had the option of choosing which middle school/high school that I would attend.
So once 6th grade was over, some of my lifelong childhood friends went on their way to different schools.
Now, that didn’t mean things completely changed.
For those of us that attended church, many of us attended the same church and saw each other often. Whether that be a Wednesday night service, Sunday service, youth event… you get the picture.
Friendships stayed intact, but we were also growing in our own ways, making new friends at other places.
So back to that day…
It was a day that I have relived countless times, and I recall it vividly. I am 46 years old, so that is saying A LOT.
We lived in a split-level home, which means our outdated downstairs held a large den and a wood-burning fireplace. There was a door to the garage where the cars were parked. This garage was also home for the washer and dryer.
The phone rang.
We had landlines back then so Mom had to take the call back in her bedroom, while we continued to do whatever it is we were doing in the kitchen upstairs.
Shortly thereafter, after Mom had ended her call, she called me down to the basement. The part of the basement right in front of the washer and dryer, and I am pretty sure the dryer was running.
Looking back, I now know exactly why my Mom took me down there.
She was about to deliver the hardest news she would ever relay, and I would ever receive at such a young age.
She knew once she found a way to spill the words out of her mouth, there would be screams and tears coming from mine.
Once she found the courage and the right words to say, she informed me that my lifelong friend since we were babies, first “kiss” (it was really a peck) in the closet of 2nd grade best friend had taken his own life.
I lost it.
I remember falling over the dryer and into the floor, and my mom just trying to pick me up.
I can’t tell you how long those cries of pain went on. I think my mom ended up having to give me medication to calm me down (which was probably Benadryl to knock me out.)
That is just my story of pain.
The cries and screams of heartache echoed throughout homes and throughout the community.
The heartache spanned not across one school, but many.
Not one church, but many.
Not one community, but many.
Life changed for us all, forever.
To the precious teenager that thinks there is no other way,
My friend’s life ended for him, but not for us.
Not for his family, not for his friends.
You may think there is no way out, but I am here to tell you, THERE IS A WAY OUT.
You may feel like your world is over, that you have no options.
I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU DO!
You may feel alone and like no one loves you.
I AM HERE TO PROVE YOU WRONG.
Hear me.
I have been there. I was a teenager once.
School sucks.
Kids suck.
Kids are mean.
Some kids are bullies.
Some people lie.
And today… I know. People can do things with technology and make horrific things.
NOTHING IS SO BAD, TOO BIG, OR TOO BROKEN THAT IT CANNOT BE FIXED, CORRECTED, CHANGED, OR FORGIVEN.
NONE OF THAT SEPARATES YOU FROM GOD AND THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE YOU.
NONE OF IT.
TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU, it may feel like this is it and life is over… but when you are 22, you will look back and realize how little you thought you knew.
Please know how much you are loved.
Please know that there is a Mighty God that formed you, made you, and while the world feels like there are no options, HE HAS A PLAN FOR YOUR FUTURE.
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand.
Please, tell someone.
You can send a text to 988 and someone will immediately respond to you.
We want to see your future.
You are a beautiful soul created in the image of God and you are capable of ALL THINGS.
ALL THINGS…
To the Parents,
Keep doing your best and keep praying through it.
Parenting is hard.
Give your children a safe place to talk and tell you what is going on, free of judgment or fear.
And if by chance, you do have a child that is struggling, find a therapist that can help you all through it.
Now, on the flip side, if you are one of those parents that thinks that it is okay to pick up your child’s phone and text another child and include yourself in whatever teenage social conflict is going on, well shame on you.
You are the adult, so be the adult.
If it is so important that it involves your interjection, go to the parent.
How can we tell children to go to trusted adults if adults are taking part in whatever is causing problems in the first place?
To the Peers,
You may think that bullying, excluding, or talking down to others gains you popularity, and while it may get you a few laughs and giggles, people will remember how you treated them and treated others.
And if you are with someone that is mistreating someone, be the person of bigger character and tell them it isn’t right.
And if it keeps up, remember this, we are the company we keep.
You are called to love like Jesus.
Not shame, not ridicule, not provoke, but to truly care and have respect for a person because God made them in His image.
Each and every single person.
And if you are one of the peers that is standing up for what is right, we are proud of you!
I know it may not always be easy, but God sees your good deeds and knows your heart.
To the Educators,
God Bless You!
I couldn’t handle your job for one second, and I can’t imagine what all you go through.
The only thing I know to say is to just make sure your students know there is someone they can talk to at the school, whether that be a teacher or a counselor.
I have no idea about educational blurred lines, but I would like to think teachers still have the ability to reach out directly to parents about such matters if they see something off.
Thank you for all you do for our children.
Thank you all for taking the time to read and share. Please join me in praying for our youth, their future, their mental health, and their salvation.
God Bless, friends.
~ Stace
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