Once upon a time, I tended to overshare. I constantly felt as if I had to explain every thought and every decision. I believed that in order to connect with others and build friendships, I needed to connect on a deeper level—and that meant freely sharing personal aspects of my life.
Friends, if this sounds anything like you, let me give you a word or two: WARNING. STOP. NO GO.
You see, while you or I may have good intentions, others may not. People who overshare often trust quickly—hence, the oversharing. Not everyone you share with has your best interest at heart, and sometimes they are quietly learning far more than they should.
I have had a couple of strong leaders in my life tell me things like, “You don’t have to explain,” “You don’t have to respond,” and “You do not owe everyone an explanation.” It wasn’t until oversharing stung like a bee that those words finally sank in.
I could sit here and tell you stories—about trying to connect with someone, believing we had life in common, only for that person to take my story and twist it into their own. I could tell you about having an idea, building it, sharing it, and then watching someone else take the credit and receive the praise.
How many times are you going to let this happen to you?
Trust me, I allowed it a few times too many.
Honestly, unlearning oversharing is not easy. As I began this journey of blogging and writing, I often felt the need to explain myself. Why do we, as oversharers, feel the need to share and justify? Is it for acceptance? To fit in? Validation? A lack of confidence?
Whatever the reason may be, I know this much to be true for me: this journey wasn’t something I woke up and casually decided to do. It took a great deal of thought, planning, and prayer. When something feels right—when you feel called to do it—it becomes much easier not to explain. The Lord knows, and that is truly all that matters.
As it relates to not sharing in other environments, the short answer is simple: I am an adult. The more complex answer is this—if someone truly wants to know you and connect, they will seek that understanding. There was a time when I felt very alone, sharing pieces of myself with anyone in hopes of building friendships. But when I stopped, I began to see the friendships the Lord was placing in my life—not the ones I was trying to orchestrate.
Today, life feels calm and peaceful. When you reach a place where you are free from bondage, sitting with the Lord, surrounded by those He intentionally placed in your path, the world looks entirely different.
I will always be kind. I just no longer feel the need to explain my “why” to everyone.
I wish the same for you, friend—because it feels amazing.
~ Stace
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